i feel like i’d enjoy being an assassin if it didn’t involve killing people
what if instead of killing people you got hired to just ruin their day. like the mafia or someone paid you to park behind someone’s car so they can’t back out of a spot when they’re in a rush in the morning and you make them late for work.
i would enjoy that immensely
there is a long list of people that i would gladly do that to without payment
JESUS CHRIST I HAVE GOTTEN ABOUT 45 MESSAGES PLEASE STOP
Omg i’ll smile forever
id cry from happiness i think
that last gif will be me in 3 hours
edit: I was dead wrong
ok lets see what happens
OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED
1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.
2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar.
3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.
4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic.
5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great.More Reminders- Charlotte Geier (via bl-ossomed)
Depressing thought: in a 100 years almost everyone that’s alive now will be dead and the world will be inhabited by 10 billion or so completely new people.
not so depressing thought: maybe these new people will be less bigoted, sexist and racist.
- Elementary School: Here's a basic understanding of history and how the world works.
- High School: Actually, that's not quite right. Everything is actually a whole lot more complicated than that.
- College: EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRRROOONNNNGGGG
- History Channel: Aliens.
as soon as i heard her line “pussy put his ass to sleep now he callin me NyQuil” i knew i was listening to Art
but what do americans call biscuits
Wait what are British biscuits? these are american biscuits.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY?!
They are American biscuits.
…That is not a biscuit.
These. These are biscuits.
Those are cookies.
These are cookies:
Everything else is a biscuit.
THOSE AMERICAN BISCUITS ARE SCONES